The Donkey Kong Bible
I was playing Donkey Kong Country Returns (because he always says the entire title of the game, never just Donkey Kong) on the Wii with my little man a while back. So what that means is that I was upstairs, passed the playroom where he was glued to the T.V., but somehow noticed me, and asked in a way only my sweet Little Man can convince that I need to stop whatever important thing I'm doing that very moment to play the Wii. With him. Probably it was a, "Mommy, will you play with me?" or I've been hearing a lot of "I just like to be with you" lately.
Because it works.
What that means further, is that I sat down, he loaded me up with a pink controller and I commenced being his sidekick for a whopping two minutes and thirty-two seconds. Because that's how long it took me to drain the life out of the 30-some odd men he'd been working so hard to accumulate. Every time a heart was sucked of its color, I realized, so too, was my coolness factor. Once we were down to about three men, he asked that I put away the remote and simply keep him company, which is what I do best. Unless we're playing Mario Kart, in which case I will kick his Little Man bootie all the way into second grade.
I obediently laid my pink controller on the charger, and settled onto the couch to enjoy the presence of my Little Man. And I suppose, he, mine. Though what that meant was that he would then describe in great detail every move he was making across the jungle and just why he was doing it. Amazing a six-year-old can understand and develop such strategy, yet closing the door while utilizing the potty is much too complex a concept to grasp.
"You see that, Mommy, I've gotta move up that rock, because it shifts, and if I don't get there right away, then move immediately to the left, the lava will flow down and burn me, and I look funny when I burn up."
"Why don't you just swing across a vine, then? Isn't that what monkeys do? Don't they play on vines? I feel like I haven't ever known of a monkey to get close to a volcano."
"Well, I need to get through the volcano, because I've got to get to the princess, and I guess she went this way, so I've got to go this way, too, before I find where she ended up."
"The things you'll do for a girl."
"No, just the princess. And I guess I'd do it for you, too, Mommy."
Cue big. Broad. Heart-melting smile. My cup would be full for a week.
"See this jungle, Mommy, it looks just like my Donkey Kong Bible."
Hold up. My madly-in-love-with-this-dear-darling-offspring dreaminess was abruptly interrupted. What did he just say? Donkey Kong Bible? I thought about it, considering perhaps Nintendo and Zondervan had joined forces and were teaching biblical truths though video games, which, if they haven't come up with the idea, I intended to pursue a patent on immediately following this now very intriguing conversation.
"Honey, did you just say something about your 'Donkey Kong Bible'? I didn't know you had such a thing."
"Yes you do, you bought it. We read it every night. You know, they're driving through the jungle on the cover and inside they always have facts and those look like they're in the jungle, too. My Donkey Kong Bible. It's just like Donkey Kong Country Returns. They both have ruins and donkeys. But not gorillas. Does the bible have gorillas and we just haven't gotten to that part, yet?"
I could hardly hide my chuckle. "I'm sure there were gorillas during bible times, it just doesn't talk about them."
He was still comparing similarities, "And my Donkey Kong Bible has people who have to work hard to defeat stuff, just like I have to work hard to defeat stuff on Donkey Kong Country Returns. And sometimes there's a path in the Bible just like there's a path on the game, but when you're the one on the path you don't know where it's going, so it's an adventure except that in the Bible God knows about the path, and he knows the way, so you have to trust in him to lead you in the right direction. And on the game I know there's a path, but I don't know where to go, so the game has to point me in the right way, but sometimes it doesn't point me, and I have to figure it out. I have to remember what I've learned. They're a lot alike, you know."
The kid's a stinkin' genius. What in the world did I think I was so busy doing that I almost reasoned myself out of a video game date with my son? Wasn't I dusting? Putting clothes away? Wow.
"That's pretty smart, honey. You stay here and play your game. I'll be back. I'm going to get your Donkey Kong Bible. I think it reads a little clearer than mine."